It's Kickball Time In The Illadilla! Salute Your Jorts is the premier professional kickball team of the Philadelphia area. The team is made up of 15 elite athletes that, game in and game out, take the sport of kickball to new heights. The team's motto since early 1993 has been, "Blood, Sweat, Tears and Beers!" The motto of a true champion.
Number 28 is in the books with both sides having players missing all over the place. Final score I believe was 4-2. Meg returned for the first time in a long time, Nicole snagged another pinch-sub medal, and Al decided to play for us instead of his double dipping team, as to not get murdered in his sleep. I was grateful as I didn't have to play third. If Al would have played for the other team, that would have been...
some real Hahn shit right there...or so the saying goes.
April 18
Gabon decided to haunt the diamond tonight and accompany himself with his known bottle of spirits at first base for whomever gets a hit. A head also made an appearance. And the shame bells.
October 26 2023
EwwwWeeee...that was a humdinger of a final for the last session of the year. Thanks to the new ref allowing bunting for the first time all season, we immediately fell behind 1-0 in the first inning. We ended up finally knotting it up 1-1 before breaking it open with bomb to center right that got by the center fielder and rolled to the fence. The play at the plate was as close as it could have been, with bang bang play resulting in the ref calling us safe by the thinnest of hairs. Hooting and hollering preceded, in which their third basement yelled "Fuck You! Fuck You!" repeatedly. So I hit him with the shimmy and well...he didnt appreciate that. Plenty more "Fuck Yous" were shouted. More dancing ensued. 4-1 final. Jorts #27.
We limped into the playoffs after losing our last game, usually having trouble finding personnel during the summer months (Mostly its just Jill being in the Hamptons all summer). Anyway, we snuck into the finals to play a monster team and put up two runs in the first inning and that was it. It ended 2-0. It was a defensive stand for both squads. The other team ended up pulling a triple play, catching a deep enough pop up down the right field line. Bob tug up from first to second while Crotty tug up from second to third. Somehow Bob got tug out half way to second, and Crotty hesitated coming around third, then got tug out at home plate. The whole ordeal was unbelievable really. Something you dont see every kickball game. Props to the opposing team. Anyway, when the dust finally settled, as noted, we came out on top of the low scoring affair. Honestly I'd like to play the team again as they were a great team not filled with wankers. It was a solid game all around.
Saturday August 5th
The last hurdle, and a tall one at that, was winning the annual Kicking For Cancer tournament. Site of heat stroke, mass energy depletion, flaming grills, and of course injuries galore including the uber legendary double torn achilles tendon play. Every year we were in the hunt, bombing out in the semis or the finals. This year was apparently the year it happened. Little bit of luck maybe pushed us through, but you gotta put yourself in the position. Unreal. Bask in it cause it might never happen again. Also Chels broke her finger.
Kiet, Nicole, Jon and Ben filled in for us this session and won themselves some much deserved hardware after a hard fought 4-1 final. There was blood and champagne and it almost tasted like Jorts circa 2014...especially after lancing a celebratory cyst at the bar...
